For the love of improv

Some of you may be surprised to learn this, but I was very shy when I was younger. To an extent, I would even say that my shyness lasted up until about a year ago. I used theater as a way of initially getting out of my shell, though I still had a lot of self confidence issues to get over before I really considered myself more of an extrovert. Self esteem is something that I have battled with for most of my life, as I think is the case with many people (particularly teenage girls, because you know, we're all whiny and high maintenance.) I still concern myself with trivial things like appearance and trying not to say stupid things around cute guys, etc., though I feel that for the most part I'm happy with myself as a person. I contribute a large amount of that to the self confidence I've gained over the past year, particularly the past few months.

Theater was good because it made me feel like I was part of something, somewhere I more or less belonged. However, I rarely received parts of a status higher than a towns person(or an extra, whatever you wish to call it.)So what still brought me joy, also became my own mental form of rejection, because while I was still a part of it, I felt like I was just in the background, like the tree in an elementary school play (mind you I never played a tree, but you get the idea.) Then I decided to move to a state where the only people I knew were my father, and my step mother, whom I had met only once. I had never been to Nevada before, and I didn't have any back up plan if something went wrong. Brilliant idea on my part. I also had moved here with the intention of going to school for theater, which generally is a bad idea because making good money off of acting is difficult, which only added to my preconceived notion that I wasn't very good at it (a result of my not so glamorous list of previous roles.) So, I didn't go to school for theater. I got a job, seriously considered moving back to Alaska (because somehow I thought that would help my lack of higher education and no idea what I was going to do with my life.) That plan fell through, so I eventually decided to go to school, and I am now enrolled to start studying Criminal Justice in September.

Now back to the actual point of this, my self confidence issues. After 5 months working at my job that treated me like crap, I quit, thus alienating myself once more, having very few friends from there already, I rarely had any human contact outside of work other than family (which totally doesn't count in this case. I love my family, but if they're all you see, it doesn't quite cut it.) So I got on the internet. I found meetup.com, and started typing interests. In highschool I had done one or two improv shows, and I felt like I wasn't very good at it, but I though screw it, I'll try it anyway. This led me to Sin City Improv, which lead me to the Improv Jam.

The Improv Jam is an interactive show, where if you want to play, you can. Basically the host says "For this next game I'll need 4 people." Then they will explain the game, and you have the choice to volunteer for the game or not. All the games are similar to the sort of thing you might see on the tv show Who's Line is it Anyway? I never fancied myself a particularly funny person, especially when its on the spot, as is the case with improv. However, after going up a few times, I found myself completely comfortable, entertaining a room of strangers. It was like the feeling I would get when I first started theater, the thrill of being able to get on a stage and have people actually be interested in what I was doing.

So the Jam became a weekly tradition for me, a little dose of belonging and comedy to escape from the mundaneness of my day to day life. Eventually that crowd of strangers grew to be my close friends. That was how I met Casper, who while barely knowing me, asked me to join the improv troupe he was forming, called Big Fun. I became known to people as Big Sweets, or a reoccurring nickname from Alaska, Melza. I actually felt like people wanted me around, that I could make them laugh, and that gave me a sense of self confidence the likes of which I have never known.

Last night was the one year birthday of the Improv Jam (though only my 3rd month attending.) It was a night filled with party hats, cupcakes, and laughs. Last night was also the first time I've been able to see a few of my friends since vidcon (so give or take 3 weeks.)I was greeted with one of the biggest hugs I've ever received. Its moments like that that make me so happy that I took the risk and moved to a different state, that I quit my shitty job even though it meant alienation, that I got over my fear of rejection and got up on that stage at Insurgo so many Tuesdays ago and let an audience accept me.

So happy birthday Improv Jam, and thank you for letting me share it with you.



The Improv Jam happens every Tuesday Night at

Insurgo Theater
900 East Karen Avenue #D114
Las Vegas, NV 89109

From 9pm-Midnight
Cost $10