Until we meet again...

Over the past few days I have been coming up with ideas of what to blog about, and either didn't have the motivation to write them, or decided against the idea for another. Right now I'm even going through the debate in my head of which of those topics to choose, or if I should come up with a new one all together. But the later seems less pleasing, because then I fear I won't ever write those that I thought of in the past few days. So I'm just going to start writing and see what happens. I word of warning, this may be more on the melancholy to gloomy side.

I hate wanting things that I can't or shouldn't have. By this I don't mean I wish I had a million dollars (though I do wish I had a million dollars, that would be quite nice), I'm talking about less material or trivial things. For instance, I wish I could be in a different place in my life. Don't get me wrong, my life is going pretty good right now, but I have many better prospects in the future, so I wish I could just get to that point. First off, I wish I were moving sooner. The thought of it, and how happy I will be when I move excites me, but the fact that I have to wait so long to earn up the money to move makes me wish that I could just hit the fast forward button on my life. Another thing about looking forward to moving is that it makes my current situation seem bad. I mean, why would I be happy living here if I am so excited about the prospect of leaving it? I don't actually mind my current living situation, but knowing that I will be in a happier place when I move makes this seem less glamorous. This is not helped by the fact that Las Vegas is really hot (have I mentioned how fucking hot it is in Vegas? Because I always feel the need to say it.)

Another thing that is a bit depressing about my current situation is that I am so far away from all of my vidcon friends (although I would like the note that the only reason I call you guys my vidcon friends, is so that people reading this who are friends of mine in Las Vegas shall understand.) Vidcon, particularly all of the people I met there changed my life, and in a big way. I can honestly say that I have never made so many close friends, with so many amazing people, so fast. After just a few days, I could honestly say I love you to these people, and mean it in a very deep sincere way. The fact that I currently live so far away from all of you is very hard on me, and if I could skip to next year and see all of you, I would do it in a heartbeat. But alas, my time machine is broken, so this is yet another wish that I cannot grant myself. However, this sadness is made slightly better by being able to talk to all of you, some on a daily basis. Though, no amount of Skype or Tinychat can compare to see you in person, hugging you, and having amazing adventures together. This is yet another reason that I wish moving were closer in the future.

Then there are the friends that I have that I will not be near, even when I move. There are the friends that live in far of places, reaching even to the UK. I can't see you until next vidcon, at least, and that makes me so sad. Every day we get closer, but the distance between us stays the same.

I try to convince myself that a year isn't that long. I mean, its already been a month, and once school starts, time should seem to pass even faster. But I can't shake the feeling that its going to be a rough year. That is why I am so thankful that in the mean time I can talk to you all, and that I can make new amazing friends every day.

Our next meeting is far off, but we make due with our late night conversation. So until we can see each other in real life, I'll see you all online.